No Soul

Recently I have been really struggling with being around people who have no soul. I’ve been feeling awkward around people I once felt comfortable around and felt out of place when speaking to them. While my heart aches with nostalgia of the great times we had together, I have had to come to the realization that it is neither my fault nor theirs, I just have this feeling that my soul is truly in another dimension.
The words that permeate the most with me as I look at the quote above is “I do not have time for things that have no soul.” This truly strikes a chord with me, as in my life I am always searching for answers about myself, about the world, that all together unveil to me its beauty, magic, and majesty. I will never understand people who have no passions. Over the course of growing and encountering numerous people over the past few years who truly have no passions I have found that is something about myself, I don’t know if I would call it a flaw or a pet peeve, but I don’t know how to handle people with no soul. I truly don’t understand people or causes that aren’t working for something bigger than themselves, that don’t have anything to pour their whole being over.
At the beginning of my senior year I really struggled with thinking that I was living a life that was “surface level” I became obsessed with the idea of living a “deeper life.” In my anxieties over the way I was living, I listed out the things that I absolutely adore and pour myself into: writing, coffee, fashion, reading, music, often to my dismay— people, I realized how truly and honestly passionate I am. I have so many passions and though an obsessive personality can be seen as unhealthy, mine has allowed me to find, construct, and nurture the growth of my own soul and to recognize it in others.
So forgive me if I identify with the line “I don’t have time for things with no soul,” if it sounds snobby or arrogant, but the feeling that this incites in me is not one of arrogance, but rather one of sorrow. I can’t help but feeling sorry for those around me, whom I have loved, who have nothing more to them than superficial traits that seek to please everyone but themselves, because this side: loving, giving, draining myself into things I love is something I wish everyone could experience and the kind of people I intend to surround myself with.

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